MY PARENTS

(Update 7-31-22, On July 1st I reluctantly moved my parents to the memory care wing of Kalispell’s Buffalo Hill Terrace. Early in the pandemic, we all saw the horror of families not being able to visit their loved ones in nursing homes, assisted living, etc. That fact and the collateral damage those poor decisions created, and the nationwide staffing shortage created by overreaction to Covid, are big reasons in my reluctance to move my parents out of their own home.)

As some of you may know, my parents pictured here in Kalispell in 2018, Jack and Alice, both have advanced dementia, still live in their large ranch home, and are reluctant to move to assisted living or allow in-home caregivers to help. Their condition has taken over my life in the last 2 years: dealing with attorneys, financial planners, Memory care homes, etc. has taken a toll on me and only stands to get worse. The reason for this post is to explain why I may need to cancel sessions with very little notice. Because I’m deaf in my left ear, I prefer texting, and that’s how clients will initially be informed if I need to cancel a session. I do apologize for any inconvenience. Their care is of utmost importance to me, as their only other child lives in Boise and all the decision making and daily tasks fall to me. They don’t drive anymore. I had to remove their pet dog from the home. I could talk all day about the challenges their condition presents to me and my family, but will end that here and give a brief history of our relationship.

I love my parents. I presented many a challenge to them as a youngster, but in the early 2000’s our relationship grew very close and I came to depend on them in many ways. They’ve been married for 57 years as of this writing. I admire their commitment to each other. The stability they supplied to our family can’t be overstated.

There is no cure for dementia. I’ve tried many alternative therapies which have bought us some time, but as their conditions worsen I learn and try everything in my power to retain my own cognition, as there is a genetic component to dementia, and it presents as a disease on both sides of my family. As I continue to learn from books and Youtube podcasts, one thing that seems consistent as important is to remove grains from the diet: (bread, pasta, bagels, etc.).

The above pic was taken of my family with sister Cathy around 2016, in Pocatello, Idaho where i grew up. Although Cathy is very supportive, she lives far away and only sees my folks a couple times a year.

Back to the reason for the post, as their condition worsens and I have to attend to medical emergencies and other situations regarding their care with very little notice, massage therapy sessions may also be canceled and I’d like my clients to understand my predicament. I’m very good at what I do, I love my work (even more now as it gives something of a respite from having to think about their complicated situation), and will continue to provide the highest quality massage therapy sessions available in Kalispell, but just less availability with time blocked out to manage my parents lives. Thank you for your understanding. VOTE THIRD PARTY!